Heeney-Sundquist Funeral Home - Farmington23720 Farmington RoadFarmington, MI

VisitationAug, 10 20221:00p.m. - 5:00p.m.The Heeney-Sundquist Funeral HomeSend Flowers

Born in Detroit in 1930, Joan was the daughter of Agnes, a hard-working single mother, and the half-sister of three much older siblings, Joe, Helen, and Tracy. They shared a "shotgun" house –four small rooms laid out in a straight line-on Warren Ave., near McDougall, on Detroit's east side. When Joe and Helen moved out, Tracy, who was 12 years older than Joan, became a second mom to her, while Agnes worked various jobs including laundress at the Book Cadillac Hotel and cigar roller at R.C. Dunn. Despite growing up poor in the cold-water flat where a once-a-week bath required lugging an oversized tin to the front of the stove so two hot kettles of water could be added to the cold, it was magical childhood thanks to Tracy. She would spend her free time and hard-earned money taking Joan to the toy department on the 12th floor of J.L. Hudson's, where Tracy would get ideas for fancy doll clothes and duplicate them for Joan. They would take in a double feature at the Rialto Theatre at least twice a week and spend Sundays on Belle Isle where they would watch with envy as wealthy Grosse Pointers sailed in luxurious canoes, decked out with silk pillows, beautiful picnic baskets, and portable radios. These outings, where Joan got to experience one of the world's most elegant department stores, soak up Hollywood glamour at the movies, and revel in the boaters' carefree lifestyles, along with the thousands of books she read, her 14th summer spent as a nanny for the owners of Sleepy Hollow Resort in South Haven, and a whirlwind trip to California when she was 19, helped nurture in her, the desire for her own storybook life. In her own memoir, Joan writes: "Reading made me realize how small my world was, and how much more there was waiting for me!" About the movies, she reveals: "When I'd see a movie with a glamorous nightclub scene, I'd come home and design my own nightclub on paper." Growing up on the Polish block, she was always intrigued by the boys on the Italian block and at age 22, met Frank Capoccia, who was immediately attracted to the girl with the bright red hair. They had two or three dates, he went off to Army basic training, got lonely, came home, and proposed. Throughout their 66-year marriage, while Frank was busy building his businesses-Bonanza Wine Shop in Livonia and Oliver T's in Grand Blanc, Joan was content at home except for a brief stint as the owner of The Queens Closet, a Victorian gift shop near their Rosedale Park home in Detroit. (In high school she did work the soda fountain at Sander's Confectionery and loved telling the story of the uppity customer who twice made her so nervous that she poured beef gravy over her vanilla ice cream instead of the hot fudge sitting right next to it. Frank and Joan's first home on Heyden in Detroit was chosen because it was across the street from St. Monica grade school and within walking distance of a grocery store. Mom never learned to drive but loved to walk and in later years loved being driven like Miss Daisy to any place she desired. With four children and a husband, she had 5 chauffeurs for decades. Those four kids-Chris, Cathy, Marie, and Marilyn-recall the idyllic childhood she created for us, based on much of her own. Our memories are vivid and sweet... Having dad drop Mom and the birthday child off at Quickee Donut an hour before Hudson's opened and then getting $25 or $50 to buy whatever we wanted, followed by lunch of chicken pot pies and clown sundaes in the elegant dining room. Or, just walking to Checker Drugs for a chocolate phosphate after school. She was a Boy Scout mom and a mom who gave birthday parties during lunch recess. A cool mom in gogo boots and mini skirt, who loved Andy Williams and Ingleburt Humperdink. She baked for the church cake walk, decorating her chocolate layer, vanilla buttercream layer cake with a circle of glistening new pennies. She made us toast that we dipped in hot chocolate for breakfast, cheese and grape jelly on Ritz crackers for an after-school snack and made Frank pepperoni and scrambled eggs on Sunday mornings served with an ice cold Stroh's. She read Little Women to us at bedtime and sang and played Mairzy Doats for us on the basement piano. When we were in high school, she'd feed our friends homemade pizza and let us bring them on vacation-often back to Sleepy Hollow where her dream summer had been spent. As we got married and had kids of our own, she hosted dinner almost every Sunday, adding tables and chairs as the family grew. When the grandchildren came, she was re-energized, turning a low-level kitchen cupboard into a candy store filled with Swedish fish, gummy worms, and candy necklaces, where they could "shop". During sleepovers, she taught them how to play poker and bingo and let them use an upstairs intercom to order snacks from her kitchen. She had elaborate Halloween parties with donut eating and apple dunking contests, Easter egg hunts, and Christmas dinners where all eight grandchildren had to pose for a picture in matching Santa hats. When Joan was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma at age of 84, we almost lost her. But she chose aggressive chemo, beat it, and went on to live seven more years, many spent tooling around with Frank in his green Jaguar, going to MGM Casino or the Detroit River Walk to play Scrabble, and always, back to Belle Isle where the seeds of her desire for a picture-perfect, genteel life were first planted. Hers was the last generation where the majority of moms stayed home. She was definitely spoiled by our dad and he loved spoiling her, mostly because she never asked for much. The beautiful house in Rosedale Park and a nice car for him to drive her around in. A trip now and then with good friends to Italy or Puerto Rico. Never a fur coat or a diamond necklace. The perfect family that she created for herself as a child with the help of her sister, became the perfect family she'd dreamed about while reading English novels and Town & Country magazine and watching the wealthy boaters on Belle Isle. We learned a lot from her: an elegantly appointed living room, with sconces and tapestries and unusual lamps, helped inspire Marie's interior design career and Marilyn's perfect parlors. The joy of music. She was blessed with the ability to play the piano by ear, which inspired Chris to play drums and guitar. Her perfect English, creative writing, and crossword acumen inspired Chris and Cathy as writers. Her themed dinner parties, festive party tables, and insistence on a full buffet table with backups-so you never run out!--and a premium bar, inspired a love of entertaining in all of us. A piece of cake to take home or a clever party favor for each guest, a must. Joan was the cheerful redhead ("Love your hair!", Ronald McDonald yelled out to her from a float in the Holland Tulip Festival parade) with the charmed life. She and Frank stayed busy in their later years delivering Meals on Wheels, making weekly trips to the casino, afternoon poker parties, and dinners with friends. Joan often accompanied Cathy, Marie and Marilyn on gourmet buying trips to New York, Chicago, and Orlando. Until the pandemic, she and the girls, along with dear friends, Jean, Sue, and Liz, met up at Novi Bowl every Monday, where they'd watch in amazement as the 87-year-old, 90-pound wonder would throw back-to-back strikes. All of her kids have an indelible picture of "the wave"--Mom standing at the front door of the house on Heyden, waving to us as we crossed the street to first grade. Mom in the arched doorway of the Warwick English Tudor house, waving when we'd leave to go back to college. Mom in the double front door of the Parkwood house, waving as we'd drive away with our kids in the minivan. Mom in the doorway of the West Bloomfield condo, waving as we left after spending the night taking care of our dad. Waving and not turning back until we were out of sight. Waving in part, because she probably needed a break from us, but hopefully, it was because she loved having us. And now it is the pleasure and joy of all of her children and their spouses, each of her beautiful grandchildren and their spouses, and her precious great-grandchildren to wave back and say...we loved having you, mom. Joan was the beloved wife of the late Frank; loving mother of Christopher (Sue), Catherine Zeller (Ron), Marie Sords (Bob), and Marilyn Canan (Mike); special grandmother to Carolyn Little (Mike), Christina Henderson (Jesse), Jackie Witzke (Travis), Petra Trudell (Craig), Justin Zeller (Erin), Jenna Zeller, (Patrik Baney, fiance), Colin Sords and Colleen Brinker (Brian); proud great-grandmother of Nolan, Oliver, Harper, Julian, Harlow, Hudson, Beckham, Brianna, Will, and the late John. Joan was preceded in death by siblings, Joseph Pawelczyk (Mary), Helen Lovejoy (Charles), and Tracy Torvinen (Jake). She will be missed by many nieces and nephews. To take home one last memory of Joan, please join us on Wednesday afternoon, August 10, from 1-5 pm, concluded by a 5 pm memorial ceremony, at the Heeney-Sundquist Funeral Home in downtown Farmington. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Forgotten Harvest or CARE House of Oakland County. To plant Memorial Trees in memory of Joan Marie Capoccia, please click here to visit our Sympathy Store.

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